Melissa's resources
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I haven't written any books (yet?!) and I have no desire to be thrust into the spotlight of fame, but I am passionate about helping people learn how to communicate in a way that short-circuits arguments while facilitating understanding and empathy; regain the sense of being "partners" who are on the same team; rekindle desire and a satisfying sexual relationship; and repair trust and regain intimacy when they are on the brink of divorce and/or after an infidelity. To that end, I offer my Communication Rules. I use these rules throughout the course of my therapy sessions to help clients communicate their pain, resentment, bitterness, anger and other emotions in a way that does not provoke a defensive reaction in their partner, but rather allows the partner to actually *listen*, communicate understanding to their partner, and create empathy, trust, and healing.
Melissa's Communication Rules |
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Feel free to check back just in case I ever do publish a book, give a TED talk or get famous in some way (lol). I will continuously be updating this page as I come across things I like and use to improve the outcomes with my clients.
My favorite resources:
Healing from Infidelity
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
Gottman Love Deck
Conflict Resolution for Couples
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Divorce Busting
Michele Weiner-Davis is an self-described "zealot for marriage". She believes most divorces are unnecessary, and that couples just haven't found the right approach/tools to help them resolve their issues. She has written many books on a variety of issues (see below) and has been largely influential in shaping my own clinical approach to helping couples!
DivorceBusting.com
See Michele's library here: DivorceBusting store
She has written on topics such as general marital issues, infidelity, when men don't want to have sex with their wives, how to communicate without nagging, and what to do when you want to work on your marriage but your spouse doesn't, just to name a few.
Michele also offers phone consultations with a "Divorce Busting Coach" as well as two day, private intensive sessions.
Click here to view Michele's TED talk on "The Sex-Starved Marriage"
DivorceBusting.com
See Michele's library here: DivorceBusting store
She has written on topics such as general marital issues, infidelity, when men don't want to have sex with their wives, how to communicate without nagging, and what to do when you want to work on your marriage but your spouse doesn't, just to name a few.
Michele also offers phone consultations with a "Divorce Busting Coach" as well as two day, private intensive sessions.
Click here to view Michele's TED talk on "The Sex-Starved Marriage"
Gottman institute
The Gottman Institute is based in Seattle, WA. They have an actual "love lab" where they do research on couples and relationships. Dr. John Gottman founded the institute over forty years ago and has been doing research on working couples therapy ever since. They also have resources for couples who are not yet married, as well a program on emotion coaching for your children.
gottman.com
The Gottman Institute offers many books to assist people in improving their relationships, as well as many more non-book resources such as "Love Deck" apps, videos, weekend retreats, and marathon couples therapy sessions.
View Dr. Gottman's TED talk here.
gottman.com
The Gottman Institute offers many books to assist people in improving their relationships, as well as many more non-book resources such as "Love Deck" apps, videos, weekend retreats, and marathon couples therapy sessions.
View Dr. Gottman's TED talk here.
esther perel
Esther Perel is one of the preeminent experts in desire and sexuality in long-term relationships. She encourages people to challenge the taboos and culture of silence around sexuality as a means of cultivating much deeper intimacy and more satisfying relationships with their partners. She offers books and online workshops to assist couples in navigating these difficulties.
estherperel.com
Click to watch Esther's TED talk on "The secret to desire in a long-term relationship".
Esther has another TED talk called "Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved".
estherperel.com
Click to watch Esther's TED talk on "The secret to desire in a long-term relationship".
Esther has another TED talk called "Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved".